Before beginning this article, I’d like to apologize for the hiatus. School has been a bit hectic for both Nik and I. Now, the real topic of this article would be the present and the past. In my friend group, I’m known as the therapist. Should my friends ever need any help emotionally, I’m the person they tend to run to if they need advice or a shoulder to cry on. One of my friends, Tiffany, in particular has been having trouble facing the present. Because of this, I have decided to share some of the advice I’ve concocted throughout my lifetime about emotions.
In order for this to make complete sense, a bit of background on our friendships is needed. Last school year, Nik and I had made some new friends with Tiffany included. Unfortunately, our previous friend group continuously teased some of the new friends we had made. Due to this, we strayed farther and farther away from our previous friends and got closer to our new ones. Tiffany in particular was the most excited by how close the seven of us had all gotten. We all thought this new friendship would last forever. However, we couldn’t have been more wrong.
Our group of friends had formed near the end of the year, which meant that we would all be leaving each other over the summer until the new school year came. One of our friends would be transferring into a different school while the rest of us stayed together, but this wasn’t the only problem. The summer was a complete disaster for our friend group. There were misunderstandings, a ton of tension, and days filled with utter silence. One day in particular was complete hell. In all honesty, I have no clue if this was just another misunderstanding, but one person whom I cared for a lot said he no longer cared about us; our friend group.
That stung a lot, especially for me. I remember staying up until four in the morning crying my eyes out and then waking up at seven only to cry the rest of the day. In the end, we were all forced to take sides on who we believed valued friendship more, so we eventually split apart. To make matters worse, Nik and I had completely abandoned our old friends.
We all continued our lives in the new school year, with Tiffany, Nik, and I joining a some new friends. While I was eventually fine with the change, Tiffany has been struggling with it. I don’t blame her though, because I went through the same thing during the summer. She has been repeatedly coming to me for advice, and while she is still struggling, Tiffany has been feeling much better.
In no particular order, here are a few things I’ve told Tiffany that I’ve also used to overcome obstacles:
- Cry it out. Nothing is worse than keeping our tears locked behind bars. If you don’t let them out, eventually you will explode with emotions and be completely overwhelmed. It’s best to cry when you feel you truly need to.
- Breathe. Take a few minutes to just sit in a serene environment and take slow steady breaths. Breathing slowly will really help you to relax.
- Keep it or trash it. Now by this I mean, you can either keep anything that reminds you of the past or throw it out if the thought is unbearable. This truly depends on your personality.
- Remind yourself it isn’t the end of the world. Whatever it is making you sad shouldn’t make you sad. Don’t think of the experience as a time where everything was perfect only at that specific time. Think of it as a stepping stone to get you to where you’re meant to be.
- Surround yourself. Whether it be friends, family or both, surround yourself with people you care about and that care about you. I’m not going to lie, I’m the type of person who keeps everything to herself, but when times are truly hard, this tip is the way to go.
- Express yourself. I’m going to be a hypocrite here and tell you not to keep everything to yourself, but if you are like me, find something to help you vent. It can be anything suited to your personality such as music, drawing, or even a blog, any type of outlet will help.
Honestly, these are things that help myself and my friends, but all of us are completely different, so not all of these methods may help. Just know that the past is the past, but they’re memories created to shape you into who you are. Live in the present, and I truly hope that if you’re struggling right now, struggle as best you can until everything solves itself. Things will get better.
Special thanks to Tiffany for letting me use her as an example in this article. Be sure to come back to read the next article of “Blog Worthy?” by following us!
*Photo by Paola Chaaya on Unsplash
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